For a large part of my walk with Jesus, I have been what I like to call an “open and point” reader of the Bible. I never knew what to read, how to read it, and I always made sure that I “coincidentally” opened to Psalms. The Psalms are safe – no names, no places, no complicated history. (Or so I thought – there’s a LOT of super cool context to Psalms, but this isn’t really about that). There was such a barrier between me and the real people of the Bible. I felt as though once I crossed into the stories of people who lived thousands of years ago, all relatability was lost.
This is a little laughable to me now – the real lives felt the furthest from my own life. But maybe you can relate to this.
As I have grown and learned more about the real people of the Bible, I have felt connected to the Word in so many amazing ways. So many lives in the Bible were lived for the advancement of the Gospel today. They serve as evidence of the promises God had then and still has now. A lot of this learning has come from expository teaching (I’ll link a couple of my favorite messages on Bible passages at the end of this post!).
I am amazed at how I can see such relevant truth about our world today in not only the world Jesus lived in, but the world before he lived.
This morning, as I was reading about the life of Elijah in 1 Kings 19, I saw some truth about what can seem like an isolated modern-day epidemic: depression.
I am not the first to talk about the crushing stigma in Christian culture around mental illness. Actually, I am so excited about the conversation beginning in Christianity about how mental illness fits into a relationship with God.
As my journey with mental illness has progressed alongside my journey with Christ, I have felt again and again secured by His grace and provision, even amongst a culture that says the two journeys cannot coexist. In 1 Kings 19, for the first time, I found a narrative of this collision of journeys in the midst of the real people of God’s word.
As 1 Kings 19 begins, the prophet Elijah is just returning from destroying the prophets of a false god, Baal. I could try to explain it all, but I encourage you to go read it for yourself (Chapter 17 is a good place to start). There’s fire, ravens bringing Elijah food (think Sleeping Beauty-esque) and a mountain that could definitely be a space in Candyland. But, after all this, Elijah was fleeing for his life.
When I searched for some commentaries on this passage, one by David Guzik stood out to me, because it labeled these verses as “Elijah’s Depression”.
The more I read of the chapter, the more I saw parts of Elijah’s life mirror my own. Elijah ran toward solitude, the exhaustion of life becoming too much for him. These so closely mirror the symptoms of depression that so many feel today. I can remember feeling as though the only answer to my deep sadness was sleep. I remember crying out the same prayer as Elijah in the deepest moments of my pain – “I have had enough, Lord… Take my life” (1 Kings 19:4).
As I read even further, I saw how God provides answers and promises for us in the face of depression through the story of Elijah. Here are just a few.
“Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you” (1 Kings 19:7) - Our spiritual God provides for our depression in physical ways.
I’ve been taking medicine for my depression and anxiety for a little over a year. Finding a doctor who could evaluate me, filling prescription after prescription and setting constant reminders on my phone to take pills until it became natural – none of that was easy. None of that felt like it was part of God’s plan, especially not when I’ve been told again and again that taking medication for depression is just a “temporary fix” until I can make my relationship with God right, or even that it is just plain wrong in general.
Elijah had a strong relationship with God. Elijah fought for the Lord and sought after the Lord. Yet when Elijah fell into depression, God had to provide for him physically in order for him to survive the journey ahead of him.
I can see such a close relationship between how God provided food for Elijah and how he provides medicine for me, and many others. The medication I take is not a sign of a discrepancy in my relationship with God – it is evidence of the faithful provision of God.
The Lord provides strength in so many ways, and our relationship with God can be strengthened in the storm when we start to look outside of what we “think” that provision looks like.
“Go out and stand before me on the mountain… Go back the same way you came” (1 Kings 19:11,15) – God has callings for us in our pain.
Elijah repeats the same lament twice in this chapter. He calls out that he has “zealously served the Lord God Almighty” yet he is “the only one left”, in both verse 10 and verse 14. He calls out this pain before and after God speaks to him in the silence.
When Elijah called out in his pain the first time, God called him to come stand before him. So often in our darkest sadness, God’s first and greatest calling for us is to come to him in it. He desires for us to cry out to Him.
When Elijah called out the second time, God sent him back into the world. This is the calling I tend to ignore most of the time. God does not tire of our earnest complaints and deep sadness – but his answer may not always be the same. Sometimes when we feel paralyzed by fear or depression, God calls us to stand up and walk free. This doesn’t always mean a pure “miracle” in the traditional sense – sometimes it looks like accepting his physical blessings that I mentioned above (medication, therapy, a friend’s help).
We should not stop coming to God with our pain, because his callings for us are always evolving.
“But the Lord was not in the fire” (1 Kings 19:12) – Often, God’s plan involves making it through the fire
This is probably my favorite, and also the most frustrating, take away from this passage. When Elijah called after God, he was answered with a mighty windstorm, an earthquake and a raging fire. Elijah was seeking God again and again, yet these disasters kept coming.
It was important when I read this to recognize that when the verse says the Lord was not “in the fire”, it does not mean he was not there during it. Nothing can separate us from God. His love is always with us (Romans 8:38-39).
God was there in the mess, but that was not when he chose to give Elijah his calling. Elijah waited through pain before God gave him a calling of action.
The windstorm of pain, the earthquake of massive change, the fire of depression – God is in all of it, but often we need to persevere through it to see the completion of his purpose.
It changed my perspective of the depression and anxiety I have struggled with when I realized that God’s purpose is for me to experience them. Before the fall, these things were not part of the equation – but in our broken world our perfect God can use them to glorify him within our lives.
Just as Elijah’s struggles bring me hope today, your struggles might be hope for someone tomorrow. You might be living in this pain to show someone else that it can be survived. When we begin to study the lives of those in God’s word, we can see the beautiful stories God weaved for our benefit and comfort. What if your story can be that way for someone else?
Sheridan
Here are two of my favorite (semi-) expository style sermons:
Matt Chandler, the woman at the well, Passion 2019 - https://youtu.be/FEmjRj7AAX8
John Piper, Job, Passion 2018 - https://youtu.be/uaCfshUZIkI )
Sheridan is a sophomore studying Economics at Florida State University. She has felt the amazing impact of God’s grace in the past year, and is so excited to talk about it as much as possible. She does this through her own personal blog, fruitsofgrace.blog, her watercolor paintings, and now by sharing on The Platform! She is always up for tea, Parks and Rec marathons and to hear about what God is doing in your life.
"God's Biblical Provision for Depression" was originally posted on fruitsofgrace.blog and Sheridan was kind enough to let us share with our sweet readers. She writes openly on her life, her struggles, and how God works through them.